What makes you uncomfortable in larp?

Community Larp discussion
#21

One of the things I personally prefer in larps is more doing and less saying ‘I’m doing …’

For example, I prefer it if people are captured, that they be ‘tied to the chair’ rather than being ‘deemed tied to a chair’. There are a lot of reasons for this, but at the end of the day, I think it can make for a better game. If you are actually tied to a chair, then when the captor leaves the room, you can actually escape.

This does of course require a certain amount of trust and respect ( and it may not be every ones cup of tea :unamused: )

I’m much the same on things like lock-picking, breaking into chests, picking pockets, disarming people etc. I’d rather present players with a strong box and let them figure out how to get in than have a piece of paper on the front saying ‘locked’.

But that, as the saying goes, is how I roll.

…and it’s a conversation that we have every six months or so :wink:

#22

I think it’s one of those things where you have to pick your player. I thought it was hilarious! :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

#23

I think the best rule of thumb is to be conservative on what you do other players until you get to know them. Peoples boundaries are different, but they’re all worth respecting. Over time you’ll get to know people and in the frequent bits of time when nothing is really happening you can chat about this type of thing. If you’re not sure at the time, ask later so you know for next time. Questions like “hey, when you guys were brawling on the ground, would you have been pissed off if I’d turned the fire hose on you?” really are great conversation starters… :slight_smile:

#24

[quote=“Aiwe”]That is exactly why I asked the question. We have many new people joining the larp fun, and I would rather find that someone may be not quite ok with me shaking my breasts in front of their face while dancing[/quote](strongly resists urge to make dodgy comment)

In all seriousness, no, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that unless I knew you OOC (which obviously I don’t). Even then, it would be pretty immersion-breaking for me as I’d be looking at pretty much everywhere else and everyone else to see if it was OK for them.

Also, there’s a sign? What’s the sign? (Told you I’m a noob :slight_smile: )

Viperion

P.S Edit: In answer to Derek’s question that he didn’t ask me: absolutely that would be ok. Funny as hell, in fact :slight_smile:

#25

I think it’s one of those things where you have to pick your player. I thought it was hilarious! :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:[/quote]

I’d think it was hilarious too. :smiley:

#26

Yup, agreed.

Absolutely. You have no idea how long Vanya was persuading me that it’s fine to slap him for real in pirates larp 4 years ago.

I keep wondering why people often feel this way around me…

Making “T” with your hands, they will be explaining it before the game on Friday. Every weekend game has little introduction from GMs on basic rules, like OOC sign, time out calls, difference between “Fire” and “Flame” calles (first is OOC, second is IC, to avoid confusion), so don’t worry about such things, the organisers will make the briefing. Also, if you forget something that you suddenly need, you can always ask someone later.

#27

Actually now that I think about it, I am okay with just about everything, as long as it fits to the general rules of decency.

Hell, in a play I did, I actually told the person I was acting with (Who had to slap me in the face) to actually slap me in the face (For realism =D). However, I would like a short OOC notice just before (So I can prepare a little bit). And just not on full force XD.

And uncomfortable and not willing to do are two different things. I’ll even go to great heights (litterally) as long as it’s safe.

#28

What makes me MOST uncomfortable in LARP is when I’m presented with a situation where I feel like the only way I can participate in the “action” is to act interested/get involved even when my character would not.

That’s where I struggle with the OOC want to be included versus the OOC want to be true to my character.

I realise that IC, like IRL, it’s good to keep an open mind about what you might pursue/who you might talk to. I also realise that sometimes, it’s powerful and meaningful to do a Le Stirge and walk away from the action because it would cause you to cross a line you’d drawn in the sand, as it were.

Short of that? Bring it. The warm water/pee trick? Bloody brilliant! I’d have loved to have seen your face Derek!

#29

[quote]Actually, my wife ran this larp many years ago where we got turned to stone for 100 years (we had a break in the middle). When we started the second game, we started as statues and in a clearing. We had our eyes closed and these goblins came into the clearing, drew mustachios on the statues, one of them came up behind me, I heard him unzip his fly and then the warm splash as he pissed all down my leg along with the sigh of relief…

…turned out later it was a squeezie bottle of warm water. But it felt very real at the time.[/quote]

This is freaking hilarious! :smiley: I’m with Derek. Tie me to the chair, grab me and pull me away from a fight, whatever. It’s all good. Anna dragged me backwards off Vanya when I was throttling him (yes, hands round his neck, but no, not cutting off his oxygen) at Witch House. We all fell over and probably got bruised a bit. Anna actually apologised after, but it wasn’t necessary, it was a great little scene and soooo much cooler that way than “I strangle you” “Ok, I pull you away from him”.

But yes, I accept that this is not everyone’s cup of tea. I also know Anna and Vanya well.

Probably the only ‘action oriented’ thing that makes me uncomfortable would be being picked up and carried. I’m not a little person and I’m heavier than I look, so that’s embarrassing! :smiley:

#30

Okay, adds to mental list…

#31

Hahahahah, yup. She’s a fair bit smaller than me tho. :smiley:

#32

I’d just about give a prize to someone who can chuck me over their shoulder and not collapse! THIS IS NOT A DARE as I said earlier it’s mostly all about a touch of OOC warning that changes comfort to uncomfortable…

Also I agree with Jackie I’ve had experiences where it felt like the GM wanted/expected my character to do what would be something they wouldn’t do…

#33

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks”

#34

I don’t care if it happens for a solid IC reason… I just don’t want to spend a weekend breaking poor guys backs as they try to whisk me over their shoulders…

#35

I’m actually fine with it as an action, and I had this done to me twice in larp. First was sort of annoying though because it took me away from fighting and protecting my shiny white elf lord, so as soon as I was released I ran back into the battle to make sure his white robes stay shiny clean. It actually turned out Dylan was trying to save the princess and confused me with Nikki (I was blond at that time, and the night was dark), so he didn’t mind me running away. Second time was in emergency Wolfgang game, Derek was pretending to be my enemy but in reality carried me away to save, it was a great scene :smiley:

#36

I guess a simple all-purpose rule around and physical contact that hasn’t been defined and agreed upon in the rules of a larp is “Ask First”. That seems to cover everything. Another related guideline that I’ve heard mentioned in a myriad of different was is “Interact with others in a manner appropriate to the relationship your character has with them”.

#37

The other side of “ask first” is that when someone says no, or seem uncomfortable, people need to respect that. There is actually an enormous amount of social pressure in larping to ‘not block’ and to ‘say yes’ to everything in order to not ruin the game for others, which can in some instances (in my experience) lead to people being pressured into doing things they’re not entirely comfortable with.

Recently I had an experience in a larp where I was asked by another player to do something that sounds pretty innocuous - which was sing in front of a group. I didn’t realise it until then but it turns out I am violently uncomfortable with singing in front of people. I told the other player no, I didn’t want to, but over a period of a few months, I got bullied into it because “all the other players were putting in so much effort” and basically, the other player would not take no for answer.

Now, in retrospect, I realise I could’ve been more assertive and just flat out refused to do it, but because there is such a culture of supporting other people’s efforts, and not ‘blocking’, it can be very hard sometimes to shake off the guilt that you’re somehow wrecking someone else’s game by standing up for your comfort barriers. So, if you’re asking someone’s permission to do something, whether it be to hug them, have a plot with you, take their photo, whatever else, it’s really important that you respect it when they say no. More so than that, it’s really important you pay attention to what their body language is saying too - if they look uncertain, or uncomfortable, be a gentleman/lady and don’t press the matter.

#38

I think a lot of people are more uncomfortable with IC bigotry than they’d like to think. That’s why you get the tolerance of gypsies in a setting like St. Wolfgang, rather than players treating them with comtempt, suspicion and hosility. People generally don’t like to be mean and now matter how good a roleplayer is it’s hard to look completely past the fact that - to pick an example ENTIRELY AT RANDOM - it’s our friend Lucy who has put a lot of effort into a character and instead see her as a wretched little heathen with a false title who if there were any justice in the world should have been killed, dismembered and thrown in a river rather than allowed to corrupt the Order with her ungodly presence.

We’ve been raised with stories of the horrors of racism and we find it hard to put that aside. Now, in a way I think this is a good thing. Prehaps if we feel this uncomfortable with racism there’s hope for society yet. Yet if we’re uncomfortable tackling these subjects it does no favors to LARP as a medium for storytelling.

Oddly enough, we did this right ONCE. At Skagen, I remember there being mention of how horribly the crew were treated by players and that’s not even counting the two attempts I made to murder some of them. That was a good attitude to have considering the setting. The backwards heretics from a tiny village were so beneath proper, civilised Christians that we didn’t even try with them. Or maybe we all just really hate Danish people.

#39

When either GMing or playing, the thing that I’m most uncomfortable with is the bullying that often goes on in games. People that have forceful OOC personalities tend to exert pressure on characters (Or the players) of less forceful players regardless of whether they should be able to IC. Admittedly it’s difficult to get people not to be themselves, but even worse is that often such dominant behaviour is encouraged as it’s regarded as “Strong roleplay”. This tends to perpetuate that behaviour and often discourages those bullied from playing, especially if they are newer players.

#40

I’ve never had a problem when people do the Extra-Loud-Captain-Shouty thing right in my face (unless there is spittle) but I admit that I’ve been uncomfortable when they’ve done this to other players who I knew were less outgoing. It is a difficult area and there is a line there I know I’ve crossed from time to time.