I think it was the book (and possibly also the movie) “Life of a Geisha” where the main character was being given tips on how to flirt. She was told “when I want a man to take an interest in my I let him get a glimpse of the inside of my exposed wrist”. In contrast, the popular themes in anime/manga would suggest rape is just another way to say hello 
There has to be a happy middle ground somewhere… 
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sigh You guys realize you can talk to an actual Japanese person for tips and/or lessons… right??
: DDD
