I wrote this a while ago but then couldn’t quite bring myself to post it, thinking no one would be interested in reading it. I wrote it, like most of my blogs and things, mostly as a reflection for myself. In particular, since finishing my degree I’ve been reflecting a lot on the past few years of my life and where I’m going from here. I got thinking about my role in the larping community. You’ve probably seen a lot less of me around at games than usual (and not just because of my ‘ninja’ skills) and I have in fact taken a step back from photography.
I’ve decided to post it after all so make of it what you will.
The tl;dr version of this story is that I am in a way ‘retiring’ from my role of Photoninja. So for anyone who is interested, I just wanted to take a minute to tell my story and explain why…
For those who don’t know, it all starting a at St. Wolfgangs Vampire Hunters weekend game in 2008. It was the first game I went to but I went armed with video cameras. Me and two of my classmates were creating a documentary for our high school media studies class. It was my first experience with larping (besides listening to Anna talk about it) and I went back to the next game armed with only my still camera, my trusty Canon 400D.
I ended up photographing all the St. Wolfgang’s weekend games from there on in and the nickname ‘Photo-Ninja’ emerged because I was rarely actually spotted during the game and yet, there were all these photographs I’d taken that turned up afterwards.
I loved. I took every opportunity to photograph everything from weekend games, day games and even Battlecry (which was more tabletop / war gaming). The biggest challenge was always Chimera where I suddenly had to be in four or five places at once and even quickly try learn my hand at portrait photographs. I began producing the compilation DVDs and photographic prints.
A lot has changed in the past four years that I’ve been involved in the larp community. It’s been fantastic to see it grow and develop, I’ve met so many amazing people. It’s always exciting when new people come in and then I look around at the more experienced larpers and remember when they were the newbies. nzLARPS and larping in general is becoming more widely known and accepted and I think this is really exciting because I’ve seen all the hard work that’s gone in to make that happen, a lot of it from my amazing big sister, Anna.
Ironically enough, I only played in my first larp a year ago at Kapcon in Wellington. I’ve crewed a handful of times but have mostly always been behind the camera. For a long time I got more enjoyment capturing those moments for others than I did from being a part of it.
Four years ago, my ambitions were to become a photographer. In my final year of high school, I turned down the offered position in a prestigious photography course at Unitec and instead went to AUT for Bachelor of Creative Technologies. Through the past three years of my degree, photography slowly became more and more of just a hobby as I realised there were other things I’d rather make a career out of but I still loved photographing larps.
Through word of mouth and good reputation, I got many paid jobs outside of larping: weddings, pregnancies, babies, yoga poses and more. Closer to the end of my degree, my focus shifted primarily onto my studies and I began turning down jobs. I even had to think hard about whether I could make the time commitment to photograph larps.
Which brings me to the point of writing this.
For a while I’ve been feeling like ‘retiring’ from photographing larp especially as we have found someone keen and excited to pass the torch onto. For the most part this decision was mostly because of the time commitment but also because for a while I was feeling that the ‘magic’ of it was gone: I felt like all the photos I was taking were ones I’d taken before.
When I started the search last year for a new photographer, Ant quickly came forward and was very eager to try it out. Normally I am not very good at collaborating with other photographers but I wasn’t ready to let go of Chimera so we tag teamed and shot the event together. At the end, it was fantastic for me to see such a different perspective on the photographs and I knew it was nearly time to pass the torch.
A big problem I always had with any photography job was the amount of time that had to go into post production that a lot of people didn’t realise. It’s one of the inherent problems with photography; everyone has access to a camera so there is always the perception that it is “just taking photos”.
I can see how my photography developed over time. I can see where I shot in medium sized jpegs on full automatic settings and did basic edits in Picasa, through to now where I shoot full resolution uncompressed RAW files on manual settings and edit with Lightroom. I make that commitment to the post production because it makes a difference. [/jargon]
Of course, it’s a lot easier to shoot 1000+ photos than it is to go through them later. I loved the excitement, anticipation and buzz as people awaited photos but hated it at the same time.
I say this with full honesty that I always did it for the fun and never expected to make money out of it. The exception was Chimera when I began to sell the DVDs and prints but even then I never made much money off those - I just wanted to get photos out there and make things that people would want to keep and display. Where I could, I did it because I loved the thrill of it and the response I got. On a personal level, it really pushed my skills and I became a much better photographer.
When that ‘fun’ went away I realised that it might be time to step back a bit, especially when it began to interfere with the time I should be spending on my university work. Particularly after Chimera last year I began to feel that it was compromising my university work and resulted in a lot of stress.
It does make me a bit sad that I’m passing on the torch but someone who is more enthusiastic will do a better job. It has also been exciting getting out from behind the camera and properly meeting you all.
I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone in the community who has supported me in my photography. I’ve made some fantastic friends and loved sharing in your roleplaying experiences. Even looking through Facebook, a lot of people at one time or another had a photograph I took as their profile picture. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to photograph you all and giving me such fantastic subject matter - and not getting too annoyed when I got in the way!
I’m not disappearing or running away, I’m still going to be involved in some way shape or form, might still take photos now and then. I’ve loved being Photo Ninja (and even used it as my website domain name) and I wouldn’t give up this community for anything.
So maybe now you’ll actually be seeing a lot more of me. 
I look forward to roleplaying with you too!
P.S. For those of you who have been wondering (I’ve had a few people ask me recently), what I actually do in real life and uni is I am a programmer, I mostly work with iOS (iPhone / iPad) development but dabble in many related areas. This year I am doing my honours. 
