Hey there,
I’m looking to collect and collate some of the worst poetry known to man. Now I’m not implying that you can’t write, but if you can’t, I would like you to write some love poetry that will make me claw my eyes out.
Any submissions, if too ashamed to post, please email to atrociouslovepoetry@gmail.com
Che
Lucy
tight bud of pink plum
holding firm to branches bare
how will you unfold?
Roses are red
violets are blue
How about it
me and you
Boobs,
Bum,
Yum yum
-Lucy- Perhaps I should have a segment entitled “Poetry by Men” I would slap Carl, as it is, Gareth is closer.
I just realised that this is exactly what I asked for. MY brain is imploding - and it’s a good thing! Weird…
I actually like yours alright, very sexual but not BAD, like Gares and Carls.
[quote=“Sypher”]
-Lucy- Perhaps I should have a segment entitled “Poetry by Men” I would slap Carl, as it is, Gareth is closer.[/quote]
feeling threatened maybe, trust me you have nothing to worry about.
how can the world
be so sad
when there is someone like you to make everyone happy again like
when I look at your eyes
and feel like I am swimming
in an ocean.
Or when I look at your face
and feel like I am swimming
in an ocean.
Oh why does god make you so beautiful
when I can not have you
for I am ugly.
I am ugly like the opposite of you which is very beautiful
with eyes that make me feel
like I am swimming in an ocean
and your face the same.
Oh please will you be mine
even though I have nothing to offer you
because you must have everything.
I like Derek’s the best so far.
I love it
Roses are red
Violets are blue
A washing machine is boxy
…
I cant for the life of me remember the next line
rubys are red
diamonds are fine
twenty dollar joe
love you long time
jiggy jiggy
i promise as soon as the muse hits me i will come up with something better
roses are red
violets are flowers
we can go at it for hours and hours.
Not one of mine but rather one of my good freind Mr Springsteen, if you dont like his music that is your problem, I think this is one of the most beautiful love songs ever written.
She’ll let you in her house
If you come knockin’ late at night
She’ll let you in her mouth
If the words you say are right
If you pay the price
She’ll let you deep inside
But there’s a secret garden she hides
She’ll let you in her car
To go drivin’ round
She’ll let you into the parts of herself
That’ll bring you down
She’ll let you in her heart
If you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don’t think twice
You’ve gone a million miles
How far’d you get
To that place where you can’t remember
And you can’t forget
She’ll lead you down a path
There’ll be tenderness in the air
She’ll let you come just far enough
So you know she’s really there
She’ll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She’s got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away
The problem with that is that it’s structured, rhyme and rhythm. Which isn’t exactly MY type of poetry but it’s an accepted form of poetry. Here is one appalling thing I wrote a little while ago which sparked this whole thing off…
Im watching robin hood
Its really good
Im thinking of you
Even though you make me feel blue
When we were together we were in love
And it was like music from above
And flew like a dove
From above
Hopefully you will come back to me
And I will forgive thee
And we can be happy
It has horrible, changing rhythm. Pathetic amateur rhyme. A brief attempt at something deep with the word “thee” which is so out of place it’s hilarious. All and all AWFUL. Not to mention emo, but that sort of speaks for itself.
Which is why I love Ians, it’s horrible.
[quote=“lucyfur”]
When we were together we were in love
And it was like music from above
And flew like a dove
From above[/quote]
Oh god, my sides. They hurt.
Try “So I married an axe murderer” has some great poetry in there
The poems entitled “Woman, Wo-man, WOAH MAN” are a personal favorate of mine
“Love is like a fart
of the heart
For when held in doth pain the host
But when released pains others most”
Alas, cannot claim originality. Or even point you to the original author. 
Submitted by my flatmate David.
Aaaw, shucks, thanks