National Committee meeting regarding Ban of Adam P

nzLARPS
#41

As the prime mover for the sanctions against Adam P, I feel that it is appropriate that I provide an explanation.

For me, this whole situation started in January this year. I arrived slightly early to the Auckland Regional Committee meeting. Anna K informed me that Adam had just been told that he had been banned from Teonn, and there were concerns that the situation could escalate. There were no issues at that meeting.

I received a copy of the email that had been sent to Adam, and also his response:

[quote=“Email trail”]
Hi Mike

Please see the response below from Adam. As the money belongs to NZLARPS, I believe it is a committee decision on the refunds. Teonn plans to ignore the email as we have said we will not enter into correspondence.

Thanks

Nikki

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Adam P
Date: Wed, Jan 11, 2012 at 11:30 PM
Subject: RE: Teonn Participation
To: teonnnz@gmail.com, Anna K archmage_allova@hotmail.com

Dear Teonn Team,

Thank you for taking the time to inform me of your decision. I would like to point out that as I was not informed this was the case prior to the November event I have infact spent quite a large sum of money on a new costume specifically for the up comming Teonn event. As such I expect to be re-imbursed my previous event payments as a sign of good will on your behalf to assist in the payment of said equipment.

I thank you for your understanding in this issue. Failure to correspond to this matter will be taken as acknowledgment of liability.

Yours sincerly,

Adam P.

From: teonnnz@gmail.com
Date: Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:43:30 +1300
Subject: Teonn Participation
To: lfoxldrizzt@hotmail.com

Dear Adam

We regret to advise you that we have decided that you will not be permitted to participate in Teonn anymore. We have received several complaints from players stating that you detract from the game and your behaviour in the past has created a negetive experience for people at Teonn. Therefore after careful consideration we have made the decision that we will not welcome you back to Teonn.
We understand this is not a decision you will be happy with but please note that our decision is final and no further correspondence will be entered into.

Kind regards
Teonn Team[/quote]

The big problem here is that Adam last attended a Teonn event in May 2011, and theGMs did not inform Adam until January 2012. WTF ? This seemed really bad form, and I wondered if there was a cynical aspect to the timing of Adam being informed; namely that the Teonn GMs had decided to hold off informing Adam of his exclusion until after Zara (Adam’s wife) had catered the December 2011 Teonn weekend event.

I discussed the situation with Scott Kelly (NZLARPS President) and we agreed that I needed to investigate the process around Adam’s ban. I was (and remain) concerned that there is no particular process that NZLARPS Projects need to follow.

I contacted Adam to let him know that I would be following this up with the Teonn GMs. My original plan was to mediate between the Teonn GMs and Adam, primarily with a view to finding a way for Adam to be reconciled with GMs. I wanted to find a way in which Adam could be rehabilitated so that he could continue to participate in Teonn.

I spoke with the Teonn GMs. They were adamant that Adam had behaved in such an aggressive manner that they could no longer see a role for him in Teonn. In their opinion, his general behaviour was deleterious to the enjoyment of Teonn by players, crew and GMs. According to the Teonn GMs, key reasons include:

  • repeated bullying and intimidating behaviour towards both GMs and players
  • when Adam was informed that, as direct result of his PC actions at a daygame, his character was likely to be killed early at the May 2011 event (primarily by PCs), and that it would be advisable for Adam (and Zara) to have backup characters ready for deployment, Adam responded with an email stating that:

MC - As I understand it, Adam sent the above email in the week before weekend game.

  • Via diatribe, Adam generated an atmosphere of stress amongst fellow participants. The Teonn GMs believe this created a negative, unhappy atmosphere where some players feared arriving at the game.
  • Subsequent to his character’s death at the May 2011 event, Adam became aggressive and abusive.
  • Later in the same weekend event, when the actions of other players ran contrary to his own aims, he swore loudly “I never fucking got my fucking thing anyway” at GM Nikki when she briefed a group (which included Adam) that their intentions had failed. MC: Adam says this was IC, but Nikki was quite clearly OOC - she was wearing the red headband of a GM - addressing her in such a way could only have been OOC
  • On 27 Feb 2012, Adam posted a message on Facebook that they feel was intended to ridicule the community’s response to GM Nikki’s announcement that she was withdrawing from the campaign. The status update read: “60 players! 11 goodbye posts - LOL” MC - Adam says this was purely coincidental, he was referencing a different online community
  • Adam is a cheat and other players have reported this e.g. reportly saying that his “Glove of Pain” ability was channelled through his sword. MC: I remember this when Adam’s character was killed, it was a big disruption to the immersion of the situation
  • A number of players contacted the Teonn GMs to complain about Adam’s behaviour.

The Teonn GMs say that after the May 2011 event, they heard (through the community) that Adam had decided to no longer attend Teonn events.They felt that it would be easier all round if they simply let things go and leave honour intact on both sides. When they learnt that Adam was intending to return to Teonn, they acted as quickly as possible.

MC - Let this be clear: I have criticised the Teonn GMs for their tardiness in informing Adam of his exclusion. I believe they owe Adam an apology for this.

I met with Adam and Zara to discuss their side of the issue.

They said that their characters behaved the way they did (in killing some high-ranking NPCs in the daygame immediately prior to the May 2011 Teonn event) for IC reasons related to the character backgrounds, and that the GMs should have known how they would have responded to the stimuli with which their characters were faced.

At the meeting, I asked Adam about his expensive Elf armour, and he said it costed in excess of $3000 and that it was made by the same artisans who made his “Zog” ork armour. He said that he felt let down by the Teonn GMs because they did not let him know about his exclusion, and he had purchased the Elf armour in anticipation of being able wear it at the next Teonn event.

Adam said that the argument with Nikki and Muppet at the May 2011 event was predicated on Muppet “bullying” Zara about a special ability that she wished to have (something involving a special call associated with arrows to which ). Adam is adamant that he was only defending Zara from Muppet and Nikki, and therefore (IMO) was correct in his behaviour.

The Teonn GMs dispute the above, and say that Adam was angry and abusive. GM Tigger heard the commotion and monitored the argument within earshot, he concurs with the description of Adam being angry and abusive.

Adam says that he apologised to Muppet and Nikki and received a warning that further behaviour of this type would result in a permanent ban.

IIRC the following happened: after I had met with both Adam and the Teonn GMs. I rang Adam at about 8:45pm on a Tuesday evening. I delivered the news that the Teonn GMs were not prepared to revisit his ban. We spoke for about 15 minutes. At the end of the conversation, when it became clear that the Teonn GMs were not going to budge and that I (as Auckland Regional Director) was unable to formally bring any pressure to bear on them, Adam responded in the following manner: he became angry, abusive, demanding and disrespectful. He said “You’ve just wasted 30 minutes of my gaming night. Don’t ever call me again on a Tuesday”. I was taken aback by his abusive demeanour, but let it got.

I got busy, and did not get back to Adam until June 6th. Here is the email trail:

So now we arrive at July 2012. Here is my understanding as at 1 July 2012, based on my discussions with the Teonn GMs and Adam:

  • The Teonn GMs have exvccluded Adam,
  • Adam has purchased his $3000+ elf armour from the same guys who made his Zog armour.
  • Adam was requesting that the total game fees he has ever paid for Teonn be refunded to him (total = $160), as a way of compensating him for the cost of his elf armour - which he said was not useful for any other game, and therefore of no use. MC - when I suggested that he could use it for a Vadhagh elf character in Multiverse, he made a comment along the lines of “that’s like saying why wouldn’t I like a bag of shit”

At the Auckland Regional Committee meeting on July 4th:

  • The Committee discusses Adam’s proposal re refunding his $160 in Teonn game fees. We decide to take the discussion onto our diatribe forum.
  • Cameron Burns questions Adam about what happened to his “Zog” armour. Adam says that he has “broken it down for use in other projects”.

Subsequent to the Auckland Regional Committee meeting on July 4th:

  • I make phone contact with Jon Postlethwaite, one of the artisans responsible for creating Adam’s Zog costume. We have a full and frank discussion around what occurred between himself and Adam. The short story is that Adam commissioned the armour, and duly received the armour. But when it came time to pay for the armour, Adam had a long list of excuses as to why he couldn’t pay, and that payment was always imminent. Eventually, Jon hadto repossess the armour in lieu of payment, and is out of pocket because he had to pay at least one of the other two artisans involved in constructing the “Zog” armour. Jon provides me with documentary evidence that supports his case. Jon and his associates are extremely disappointed with this turn of events, and believe that larpers not worth the risk

MC - The repossession of the “Zog” armour is in direct opposition to Adam’s assertion that it was “broken down for use in other projects”. I believe that theassertion by Adam was a calculated, direct attempt to mislead the Committee. I believe he knowingly mislead the Committee.

  • On diatribe, Adam admits that his Elf armour was never completed, and that it was commissioned to a different artist those that made his Zog armour MC - I had always understood that Adam’s Elf armour had been completed and paid for, hence the source of his complaint.

My position is thus:

  • Adam appears to have brought the Society into disrepute because of his avoidable bad debt to local artisans. They have subsequently disengaged from the Society, and have potentially taken the view that all larpers are untrustworthy. This is no good for anyone associated with NZLARPS.
  • Adam potentially mislead myself and the committee when he asserted that the new Elf armour was created and paid for, thereby causing him a substantial loss. When given the opportunity to clear up this matter (via my invitation to annotate my report to the Auckland Regional Committee) he chose to not add this information.
  • Adam outright mislead myself and the committee on July 4th when he said his Zog armour had been “broken down for use in other projects”. This is simply not the case, Adam knew that the Zog armour had been repossessed in April 2011 (or thereabouts), and purposefully chose to keep quiet rather than communicate this to the community.
  • With respect to Adam there is arguably a history of half-truths, omitted facts, and cynical actions that could be seen as misleading to the point of deceit.
    For example, he claims that his Elf character was approved by the Teonn GMs, and therefore he was justified in spending $3000+ on his new Elf costume. According to his post on diatribe, he button-holed Muppet at the end of a daygame. As any GM knows, you can not approve a new character without seeing their character sheet; a quick conversation in passing does not suffice. Yet Adam clings to this as “proof” that his purported Elf character was approved by the Teonn GMs.
  • Adam is the only member to be:
  1. Removed from office (he had to be rolled as Treasurer in (IIRC) 2010)
  2. Given a temporary ban from diatribe
  3. Banned from a game

I am totally over dealing with the emotional and psychological fallout associated with having Adam in our society. He is deleterious, pointlessly argumentative, arguably dishonest, and basically a negative person to have in our Society.

NZLARPS exists to ensure there is more larp. Adam’s behaviour could be seen as being both toxic and cancerous. We should not allow it to go unchallenged, and it behoves us all to confront this kind of behaviour.

EDIT: fix formatting issue

#42

It seems like there’s some feeling that Adam’s resignation isn’t adequate to deal with the feeling of intimidation that members of the community are expressing, and that special actions need to be taken to ensure he can be excluded from events without the project owners feeling intimidated when making contact directly to ban him.

The national committee has followed Section 9 of the Constitution to expel Adam, with the addition of the statement that they won’t consider allowing him to rejoin for five years. Giving him the option to resign is a constitutional requirement, the committee had no choice but to do so. He has taken that option, as is his right per the constitution. This was always an option he could take, there’s nothing the committee or any member’s advice to them could do about it.

However, this isn’t necessarily the end of things. The Auckland and national committees do have further options. They can pass motions by vote. The national committee in particular could vote in their private online forum to ban Adam from Diatribe, and the sheriff would carry out their decision. Even if the national committee don’t decide to vote on whether to ban Adam from Diatribe, the sheriff could still ban him. The Auckland committee could vote to only allow Adam to attend project events to which he is explicitly invited by the project managers, thus removing the need for project managers to actively ban him. The committees could also vote to make official statements on the matter. I think that making official statements is a tool that has been under-utilised by the committees.

Some people have complained that society members are influencing the committees. But as others have pointed out that’s the nature of a real democracy - it takes submissions from its members into consideration. It’s true that the committee members are the people best placed to make the final decisions, because more information is funneled to them than anyone else, and making that final decision is what we voted them in to do. But the members have the right to make submissions to committee members, who can then decide how to vote based on the full picture.

I am impressed that the committees have allowed for member submissions on their actions to date, and I believe that the submissions have helped improve the proposed action. The original intention to ban Adam from all projects would have been an imposition on project managers. Many of us feel that the role of the society should rightly be to facilitate, not to dictate. I don’t wish to see the society become authoritarian over its projects, that would be a departure from its original spirit and intent as a support organisation for larp.

I hope that the committee will continue to seek council from its members on any further actions they wish to take in this, but I also trust in them to make good decisions on behalf of the membership.

Personally, what I would like to see from all this is for Adam to realise that his aggressive and disruptive behaviour online and in real life is unacceptable, to stop blaming others for these bad habits he has fallen into, and to make a genuine public commitment to himself and to the community that he will change this behaviour. There are several incidences recounted here of Adam suddenly snapping and having angry outbursts, and then regretting it and apologising. This sounds like an anger problem that Adam wants to change, but it’s not necessarily an easy behaviour for a person to change themselves. I know someone who specialises in dealing with anger behaviour professionally. He’s based in Ellerslie, and Adam if you’re interested in making that kind of change let me know and I’ll give you his details. It won’t be cheap, but as you can see carrying on the way things are has its own personal costs.

#43

Skimming the above, my first impression that it was a mistake to engage Adam in the first place. Adopting a strong policy of supporting GMs from the beginning - “I’m sorry, but they’re entitled to ban you from their game, and we’re not a court of appeal for that” - would have saved you from this hassle, and (more importantly) the Auckland Regional Committee from wasting several months of its time.

#44

IdiotSavant, you (rightly) requested further information on why the committee chose to act as it did, please do more with it than ‘skim’ and point fingers. Several forms of unacceptable behaviour, sustained over an extended period of time, causing undue and unnecessary grief for a lot of people are highlighted init. Simply because you disagree wirmth how Mike handled it, does not excuse Adam’s behaviour, nor mean we should keep tolerating it at the expense of our enjoyment of the hobby.

#45

To follow in the footsteps of open disclosure, I too have been a victim of Adam’s bully type behavior on Diatribe in a Teonn forum. (This was several years ago now.) At the time I received some PM of support from other members, and I also tend to support other members via PM, rather than on the boards.

Adam demanded an apology, which I gave him. He has never apologised to me for the emotional turmoil that he caused me by mis-interpreting my comments and reading them in the worst light, without any regard to the type of person that I am.

FWIW I also have material in my cupboard, that I paid around $50 for, to make a costume for games that Adam was going to run, but never has. Should he compensate me for that? The thought never crossed my mind - I accept that some things in life just don’t work out. Especially those things run by volunteers.

Thank you to the Teonn GMs, Mike, the Auckland and National committee members, for having to deal with this on behalf of the society and community. It was unprecedented, and having to forge new paths is never easy. I think you all do good work which is under-appreciated.

Is the meeting tonight still going ahead? I am happy to come along to support it.

#46

Up to now I have decided not to post on this thread, because I believed that it would just cause me further heart ache and I didnt want to distract from the real issue which is that Adam needs to be banned from NZLARPS and his bullying and trolling behaviour (or in fact this type of behaviour from anyone) should not be allowed as a part of our community. Please bear with me because I have a couple of points.

First, Adam.

I wanted to say that as reasonable as Adam’s apology sounded, this is not the first time he has apologised and no amount of apologies can make up for not changing your behaviour. 2 years ago, I was the official moderator on Diatribe and Adam made a comment using the word gay to discribe something (in this case Elves) in a negative fassion. Somebody got upset and I gave him a brief warning to not do it again. What followed was 2 days of backlash, both on Diatribe and on Facebook, with personal insults thrown my way and what was worse, people were laughing about his trolling like it was funny. I got really upset and resigned as moderator of Diatribe and also was very close to withdrawing from the community completely because I saw people openly supporting Adam’s behaviour and I didnt want to be a part of a community that accepts bullying and trolling as part of it’s culture. I would also like to make a point that up to this time, Adam had trolled many times on Diatribe, and I was fed up with it. This is the message I received in apology from Adam:

[quote]Hello Nikki,

I just wanted to appologise for what happend the other day. I should have been much clearer in my posting because what sparked from it obviously did not realise my intentions. I honnestly did not mean nor intend for people to side with me against you. I am not sure how or why that happend. I would like you to know that there are alot of people (including myself) in this community that think the world of you. There are times when I have wanted to help you out and been unable to (house issues etc) because of work. Perhaps I will make my wish to attened and reasons for my inability to do so more obvious to you in future.

I also want to appologise for not just explaining myself straight away when I saw the problem and instead antagonising people. Unfortunatly its very easy for me to jump on the mocking bird wagon and just go for broke when people missunderstand me. Which is possibly a little unfair on them. I did feel that people’s interpritation was a little lopsided but was very confused when I was defended. I honnestly expected a more well rounded result after my post about what I feel the meanings are and how I ment the comment in character rather than out. I have lernt from this and next time will simply post somthing more orky instead.

I am really sorry for upsetting you - my comments on face book were not directed at you but more the people who missunderstood what I ment and did not have the decency to read my explanation. I obviously do not wish to kill all homosexuals (elf or otherwise) as I would keep away from them rather than allow those who have informed me of their sexual orientation to hug me and I would possibly go about finding out who is and who is not keen on homosexual activities. As it stands despite what I say and do my thoughts are very liberal. While that may seem odd to you from the way I act. I genuinly feel that people should be able to do what they want with who they want provided every one is happy.

My problem is that personally I skip out on the happy part quite frequently when I troll people, somthing I am looking to fix.

I want you to know that my troll side is more for my own ammusement than to hurt people - It is never my intention to hurt people especially people like you.

I hope you can forgive me or at the very least understand that I did not mean to upset or attack you or the people you love.

-Adam-

ps: No Zara is not over my shoulder / typing this. I really do mean this - you are a great person don’t let dicks like trolls on the forum (myself included) drag you down.[/quote]

I decided at this time that Adam seems to genuinely want to change his behaviour and I would give him a second chance. This was my reply to him:

[quote]Hi Adam

You have to know first of all that calling the evlves gay was not the problem here. As an official moderater I had to stamp on that, especially when people got offended. And again as a moderater, I had to stamp on a personal attack, and just because it is Dylan does not make it ok. If you had simply posted, I’m sorry and moved on, like any other person would have, then we woudlnt be having this dicussion.

Surely by now you have realised that you, intentionally or otherwise, have upset a lot of people by your trolling. If you keep going, you will eventually antagonise everyone you know. I know you want to subscribe to the “I dont care what anyone thinks about me” philosophy but the problem is that you are hurting people. And I suspect Zara is being hurt most of all because she often gets caught in the middle, and I know you love her. I cant understand why you cant see that this behaviour is incredibaly self destructive.

So if you are serious about wanting to modify your behaviour then that is a good thing. Not only will you find that you will be happier but the people around you will be much better off for it as well.

So I accept your apology, but you know that once bitten twice shy, so all Im saying is that this is the last chance that you have if you want to friends with me.

Nikki[/quote]

Adam says I threw this and another apology which he made in person in his face, but the fact of the matter is, he did not change his behaviour and therefore there needs to be consequences. We cant just accept his apologies over and over again if he doesn’t change his behaviour.

The next bit is about my feelings as a Teonn GM (at the time) and the handling of this situation by NZLARPS. Please don’t let this distract from the Adam issue, because if it is too important. Also please note that I only speak for myself and not any of the other GMs, they can make their own statements if they wish.

We made a decision to ban Adam from Teonn and as someone who had already been bullied by him many times up to this stage, I felt immense relief when we heard that Adam had decided he would not return to Teonn on his own. Simply because it meant we wouldnt have to deal with the fall out of banning him. There was no malice and no attempt to deceive anyone, least of all Zara who was the only one who put up her hand to offer to cater the next Teonn game. Had Adam at any stage let us know his intentions to return to Teonn, we would have immediately let him know of our decision to ban him. In fact, when we did find out via that forums, after the game that Zara catered, we sent him the email within 48 hours. I am really disturbed to hear that Mike thought we actually had the malintent and specific foresight of not saying anything because we didnt want to lose Zara as a caterer. This is the first time that I have even heard this opinion, reading Mike’s post above.

Because of having dealt with Adam and his rules lawyering ways, when we were finally forced to send him an official ban letter, we specifically wrote in it that we would not enter into any further correspondence, and we sent a copy of this letter and Adam’s reply to Mike and other members of the Auckland committee. We verbally advised Mike of our reasons for banning Adam and thought that would be the end of it. We had hoped that NZLARPS would support one of it’s projects and the GM’s right to ban a player from their game. However, following one of the committee meetings where Adam was in attendance, we received an email from Mike requiring a written explanation of why we banned Adam. I was hurt, I felt (rightly or wrongly) like as the victims, we were now being demanded to explain why we stood up for ourselves. We told Mike that we were not going to get into a discussion about the ban and we wanted to move on with our lives.

When the code of conduct discussions started up in the NZLARPS committee meetings as a direct result of this. Adam’s ban did come up several times during these discussions which I believe ran over a couple of meetings. Some of which I was present at. Yet never did any mention of it reach the minutes. I believe that because NZLARPS had decided to investigate, that should have been part of the minutes from the beginning including our replies and Adam’s. However for whatever reason, this “moderation” or investigation was going on in secrecy. I genuinely think this was in an effort to save face for as many people as possible. I dont think there was any malice from Mike or NZLARPS, however as a result, I have felt very unsupported as a project manager and even persecuted at times. I completely disagree that we should have told Adam sooner about the ban as he had made it clear he was not intending to return and I believe Adam’s claim for reparations is spurious at best, and fraudulent at worst because we have made it clear, no one is guaranteed a player spot at Teonn, unless they are one of the first 70 players paid.

The only thing I regret is that Adam was included in some bulk emails that were sent out. That shouldn’t have happened, but it is an easy mistake to make when you have to administrate over a hundred players and crew.

Finally, I know I mention NZLARPS as perpetuating this “moderation”, however since then I have been told that some members of the committee didnt even know this investigation was going on and had there been a vote at the beginning of this process, I believe (rightly or wrongly) that probably the vote would have sided on the "let’s support our GMs right to ban people from their game"
I think part of the reason this has gone on so long and in so much secrecy is because committee members felt intimidated and frightened to voice their opinions at committee meetings because of Adam’s presence. Maybe we are also partly to blame for the bad feelings, because we should have made a firmer stand in our belief not to continue negotiations and give more explanations, but what is done is done. I just wanted to state my feelings and beliefs on this matter. And it is my hope that there will be a positive change in the direction of our community to not accept bullying and trolling as appropriate behaviour and to stand up for our friends when they defend themselves against such behaviour.

#47

Can people like Hannah who have had problems with me in the past please continue to post - I just sent Hannah an appology - I had no idea I had upset her and really feel like crap about it. It was never my intention to make people scared of me. The fact that I have managed this is deeply upsetting to me but I need to hear this and I would like to encourage people to say how they feel. I won’t get angry there is no reason for it.

I have lost alot of good friends over misunderstandings and bad communication. I am not asking people to still be friends - I understand that for alot of people as Ryan said it will take time or perhaps never happen - as much as that hurts it is nothing more than I deserve.

Help me understand how I hurt or upset people so I can learn to change - I have a bright light in my life now, one I lost along time ago and I think that made me very bitter. I took it out on people around me instead of looking to replace it or fix it.

If you are uncomfortable saying it here or pming me I understand - but please find somone to pass it along to me - like Derrek or Mike - somone you trust or who you are comfortable to tell - however you do it please speak up.

I am walking away from a bridge in my life and I left the troll under it.

#48

[quote=“Xcerus”]
I am walking away from a bridge in my life and I left the troll under it.[/quote]

This is positive.

Be not discouraged by negative reactions people will continue to have for you, this is a process, it takes time and people need to see evidence of change. Try not to react to what people may say or have said immediately, take time to see the real reason they might have said or wrote it.

It takes a lot of self reflection to make lasting change and it will take actions to show this has happened to those who need to see it.

I look forward to seeing a brighter path leading away from the Troll bridge.

#49

[quote=“Xcerus”]Can people like Hannah who have had problems with me in the past please continue to post - I just sent Hannah an appology - I had no idea I had upset her and really feel like crap about it. It was never my intention to make people scared of me. The fact that I have managed this is deeply upsetting to me but I need to hear this and I would like to encourage people to say how they feel. I won’t get angry there is no reason for it.

I have lost alot of good friends over misunderstandings and bad communication. I am not asking people to still be friends - I understand that for alot of people as Ryan said it will take time or perhaps never happen - as much as that hurts it is nothing more than I deserve.

Help me understand how I hurt or upset people so I can learn to change - I have a bright light in my life now, one I lost along time ago and I think that made me very bitter. I took it out on people around me instead of looking to replace it or fix it.

If you are uncomfortable saying it here or pming me I understand - but please find somone to pass it along to me - like Derrek or Mike - somone you trust or who you are comfortable to tell - however you do it please speak up.

I am walking away from a bridge in my life and I left the troll under it.[/quote]

I truly, genuinely hope you mean it Adam, but you have no further chances left with me and I believe there should be consequences for your actions. I believe this should include a ban from Diatribe and some kind of opt in strategy for games where GMs of NZLARPS projects have protection and do not actively have to ban you from their games, or have any contact with you at all unless they wish to.

Is the meeting still happening tonight?

#50

I firmly believe that people have the capacity for change, however, I have an equally firm belief that actions need to have consequences.

This is not the first time you have made a very eloquent apology Adam, nor is it the second. As such, if you truly mean it, it will be take time a long time to prove it. I, like many others, really liked you when you first came into this community, but after the previous times that you have apologised for your unacceptable behaviour you have gone right back, each time worse than before.

This time, it will be much harder, and it should be. People have come back and changed themselves from worse in that past, so sure, I believe that if you honestly want to change, you can. Just don’t expect us to believe you off the bat.

#51

The meeting to ban Adam isn’t on, but since the room is booked Anna and Michelle will be there to answer questions and take constructive, proactive feedback on how best to proceed from here, as well as how to deal in future.

Informal, findings and discussions reported to National committee, and relevant findings on Diatribe.

Members welcome

#52

Sorry, but I’d since been filled in on the substance of the allegations, and mine eyes glazeth over at reading page after page of quibbling and recriminations and rules lawyering. I am astounded the Auckland Committee put up with it for as long as they did, and can fully understand Mikaere’s anger at having his good faith abused.

No, it doesn’t. But to echo your comments earlier in the other thread, he’s out, matter closed bar the footnotes.

#53

[quote=“Scott”]The meeting to ban Adam isn’t on, but since the room is booked Anna and Michelle will be there to answer questions and take constructive, proactive feedback on how best to proceed from here, as well as how to deal in future.

Informal, findings and discussions reported to National committee, and relevant findings on Diatribe.

Members welcome[/quote]

As I have mentioned earlier I also shall also be present at the meeting, where I will make the statement that I had prepared in the last few weeks regarding Adam’s ban, and the actions I have witnessed that have lead up to this stage. Which I will post online afterwards.

I’m also willing to answer any questions anyone may have.

Also, as someone that is familiar with the constitution (having writen and re-writen large portions of it as many know), I plan to discuss and advise on possible constitutional changes to be put forward at the AGM later in the year.

#54

I should like to show my support for the members of the National committee who’ve had to give up their personal time to deal with this difficult situation.

People volunteer their time to serve on the committees for the benefit of the community at large. I’m sure they’d much rather be doing a thousand other things including writing great games.

Thank you guys.

#55

[quote=“Bryn”]I should like to show my support for the members of the National committee who’ve had to give up their personal time to deal with this difficult situation.

People volunteer their time to serve on the committees for the benefit of the community at large. I’m sure they’d much rather be doing a thousand other things including writing great games.

Thank you guys.[/quote]

Ditto. I know you’ve had to deal with a pile of shit over this, and the hard work is appreciated.

#56

Dude, try writing that shit ! :wink: I was literally falling asleep at the keyboard by the end of that bloated epistle.

I’ll be at the meeting tonight, happy to answer any questions in person.

I would also like to show my support for our National Committee. When I raised this issue with them, they responded extremely quickly and have acted in a very professional manner throughout. Nobody ever signs up to deal with this kind of issue, and I think the way they have addressed this situation proves they are a very capable committee indeed.

#57

I would like to thank not only the committee but all who were involved in this situation for the time and effort they have put into this. As I appreciate they are taking time out of their busy schedules to help run a society that is set up to organise fun events that we participate in our leisure time.
This unpleasant task can not have been easy for them and has involved even more time sacrificed by them working on something that has nothing to do with LARPing.
When I had committee members ask if I can make it to meetings so they feel safer or less intimidated you begin to understand how ‘uncomfortable’ these meetings had become.

I am disappointed that the committee was forced to hear from a lot of naysayers who felt it necessary to advise them of their opinion with out knowing any of the facts.
I am disappointed in myself for not speaking up and supporting the committee prior to the situation getting to this point and leaving them to only hear negative comments.

I would add my voice to others; I’m not overly interested in either running or playing in a game with Adam in it.
I am assuming that those who felt the committee were being harsh are going to be inviting Adam along to their games.
Because that raises the question is it now up to each GM to disclose whether Adam will be attending their games? And how responsible is the GM when it goes pear shaped?

Have we achieved a resolution here?
A resolution would mean we could move past this and get on with LARPing,
I get the uncomfortable feeling this might not be so as Adam has apologised before this is in no way a new thing.
Time will tell.

Once again big thanks again for all those who were involved in this you have spent way too much of your time wading through taurus excrement for the rest of us.

#58

Regardless of the formal outcomes for processes around how/when a member banned from the society is able to attend projects, tonight I have informed Adam that he is no longer welcome at this or any subsequent Chimera event, or any other event that I run in the future. My decision to do this comes from having been involved in a number of protracted confrontations with him at games, in society procedures, at committee meetings and on Diatribe. Most significant to my decision were my experiences in being on the committee in the term of September 2009 - September 2010 when he was removed as treasurer for (amongst other things) his neglect of the treasurer position, and my experience in the Auckland Regional Committee in the current term and in learning about his behaviour regarding his ban from Teonn, his abuse of the good faith of the committee and his treatment of the artisan Jon Postlewaithe. These and other confrontations have left me with little faith in Adam’s willingness to behave, and with a genuine fear of interacting with him in both physical-real-world and electronic contexts. Furthermore, these experiences have made me utterly unwilling to put my attendees, and my event, at risk of his behaviour or anxiety related to his potential behaviour based on his actions to date. Nor should I have to enter into running Chimera with this anxiety souring an activity I truly love. His game, Defence of Allenburg, has been removed from our line up and his players moved to a game of a similar genre to minimise disruption for them.

#59

Tonight fourteen members of the society turned up at Ellerslie War Memorial Hall for an informal meeting/community consultation of sorts to discuss ways positive ways forward. I think the meeting had some excellent discussion and outcomes, which I will tidy up and post tomorrow. As it was not a formal committee meeting of any kind, there was no voting, it was simply members of the community discussing and collating their thoughts for the wider community and to submit to the National and Auckland Regional Committee.

Fourteen is the most members I have ever seen turn up at a meeting that was not an AGM, which shows to me how committed people are to learning from this and moving positively forward.

#60

Last night at the meeting of those gathered I made my statement on the situation. This statement outlines my opinions and observations of the matter, and is inclueded in this post. [attachment=0]Statement_Re_ Adam_Ban.pdf[/attachment]
I would just like to say that it is my hope that the community as a whole can move on from this situation and get back to what makes the community tick.

I have seen this community forge close friendships. I have seen romantic relationships form through the club. The level of support in the gaming community continues to surprise me in good ways. I and others have been welcomed into the homes of people we do not know when visiting cities to play in games. I have seen people give rides and lend personal gear and go out of their way to help out people they have only just meet.

This community and hobby revolve around the enjoyment of a recreational passtime that we share, around the good will and supporting and welcoming attitudes of its members. Its about fun and enjoyment of community based collaberation. Its about a safe and welcoming place to socialise and create. At its heart its about people and a caring community and freindships. Its about the good work of all the people that give so much and strive to ensure the enjoyment of other people.

These are the things that make me run games. These are the things that keep me coming back to games. These are the things that make me want to promote LARPing at conventions. These are the things that make me want to serve on committees.

These things are the reason that the committees involved (both local and national) acted, They felt that there was a situation that effected these things to a level that was unacceptable.

Its not nice to have to take the actions to remove people from committees or clubs, I have experienced it in other clubs. Its messy and long and hard and emotionaly draining for all those involved, and is not something that the anyone enjoys doing. Sadly, in this case, it was felt that action had to be taken against one person to improve the community for its other members. One person should not be allowed to infringe on the enjoyment of the community.

I personaly would like to move on from this situation and look forward to the future.